Well, You Don’t Have an iPhone. No shit….

Posted on May 14, 2011. Filed under: Ramblings and Rants that don't fit anywhere else |

AT&T are now, seemingly, on the desperation tour for getting people to use the iPhone. You know a marketing campaign is in the desperation phase when, instead of trying to convince you that you can’t live without it because, well, you just won’t be cool anymore – they move to shaming you.

Certainly you’ve seen the latest spate of inane iPhone commercials. I guess they are done trying to convince you that it’s ‘magical’. ‘Fabulous’. ‘Incredible’. And all of those other adjectives that no one except Steve Jobs would actually use in the same sentence.

Now, the catch line for enticing you to buy an iPhone:

“If you don’t have an iPhone…. Well, you just don’t have an iPhone.”

And, so that leads to what I tend to say every time I see one of these commercials: No shit. Which, in the three hour period from 7PM to 10PM, I utter ‘No shit’ about 60 times. And, yes, the wife gets pretty irritated about it. Not that I don’t have an iPhone – she doesn’t either – but that I keep saying ‘No shit.’

There is absolutely NOTHING about the iPhone that can get me to buy one. Zero, zilch, nada. And, no – for those of you who know me personally and think I wouldn’t buy one because of who I work for – it has nothing to do with that.

Consider this: Harley Davidsons USED to be cool. Now it seems that everybody – from CEOs to janitors and lawyers (the similarities in their actual job responsibilities are striking, if you think about it), and yes – even accountants – all own a Harley. The iPhone went into the same category about 30 seconds after it was introduced. It’s just not interesting and cool if every freaking idiot and their soccer mom sister has one.

“If you don’t have an iPhone…. Well, you just don’t have an iPhone.” No shit. Oh, and Thank you, Capt. Obvious.


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One Response to “Well, You Don’t Have an iPhone. No shit….”

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[…] What I don’t get is what is the deal with Microsoft’s “Marketing Machine”? You’d think if you were launching a new phone to a new carrier, you’d advertise the crap out of it. The phone goes to general release in Verizon locations June 2. You remember the advertising blitz with the iPhone, right? The one that has never ended? Oh, you may have read this. […]

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